She used to radiate from within
She had laid down her armour for she no longer believed she needed it.
She began to accept love
She felt seen
She felt understood
While she felt vulnerable, she felt an inner strength and resolve she once believed she was not capable of.
She made room for emotions and gave them a voice
She dissected, pondered and processed
She dove deep within herself
She took risks
She began to look at the world not with her eyes, but with her heart- an open heart
She began to believe in magic
She saw the mythical world existed, if you were willing to let it in
She enveloped the natural world; taking in the intricacies of a single snowflake, embracing the healing powers of grass beneath her bare feet, allowing the waves to pull her worries out to sea, choosing to feel the heat of the sun despite the chill in the air
She let go of the trauma from her past
She allowed her sorrow to pour out of her, sometimes engulfing her in the process
It wasn’t easy for her
She had to learn to trust, over and over again
She has to learn to pause
To breathe
To wait
To reimagine
To rebuild
….to let go
It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it
She began to live her authentic self.
She began to embrace HER
Her excitement for life grew, despite hardships surrounding her
She felt her life had purpose, beyond the titles bestowed upon her
She felt something new, perhaps pride?
The pieces of her finally fit together-no longer fragments scattered about
She grew to understand others better
She embraced the empathy she was always capable of,but hesitated to show
She embraced herself, warts and all
..yet she never stop trying to grow
She was still far from perfect, nor was life around her. But she felt more whole than she had ever before in her life
….She never dreamt it would end
B and willie 
You take the reader down the wild ride of possibility, imagining that things could be different in one’s life if only one can be brave enough to let go, the beauty of living authentically versus living a fragmented life… and then you smash it all to pieces right at the very end with anguish. This is an incredibly thought-provoking piece. If this isn’t fiction but grounded in reality, and something major just happened in your life, please know that my thoughts are with you.
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Welcome Nora!
This is very much grounded in reality, but the ‘something’ did not just happen. So I suppose, fear not?
I appreciate your kind words and concern. They are both very much appreciated ❤️
willie
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Beautiful and very powerful Willie. I echo Nora’s comment regarding the ending. I sincerely hope not!
Much love
Roz
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Hey Roz
As always, thanks for the support and kind words.
There is a part 2 which I’ll eventually put up. I thought I’d share what life was like for many years here. What living a D/s life 24/7 , sometimes touching the outer circle of a TPE was like emotionally and how it truly effected my personal growth. Not to over sell it, but it was a thing of beauty and was very, very powerful.
Yes the ending of this post doesn’t sound good, and it wasn’t. That being said, I decided in order for this WordPress blog to be of any use, like my blogger blog I have to be willing to share some not so wonderful experiences as well. I’m fairly certain B and I are not the only ones who have experienced a “crash”. Maybe someone out there will eventually find this and relate? Probably not any time soon as I have like all of 17 followers. Lol!
willie
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Omg, this made me want to cry. I feel this so strongly, and I was afraid – I guess I knew – that it was going to come to a crashing end. Having experienced that myself to some extent, I can totally related. Now I have to find the “follow” button.
Thank you for sharing.
💜 olivia
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Hi Olivia!
I suppose with the fact that I wrote in past tense and your knowledge that B and I have been in a rebuilding stage of our dynamic, the conclusion for you would be a bit clearer.
I hope you relate to the positive aspect and not the crash.
I’m actually more concerned about posting part 2 than I was about part 1.
Thanks for seeking me out.
willie
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Yes, I did have some background insight, but the description of how you felt was achingly beautiful. I can imagine that the crash would have been incredibly painful. No matter what you post, I’m here for you. 💜
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Thank you that’s nice to hear.
In all honesty it was more a gradual erosion than a crash. Maybe that’s better or worse? A crash makes me think perhaps intentional and after the fact that somehow would feel easier to accept – theoretically at least 😉
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Yeah, it’s hard to say. Losing that joy is just hard no matter what timing or reason.
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Very true
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